by Katherine on January 12, 2010
Thanks to Alison Maslan for writing this post. I appreciate you, Alison.
Is striving for perfection choking you? Are you living your life to the fullest at this moment in time? Do you have the life that you have always dreamed of? If so, congratulations! Meditate a few moments each day on the goodness that you have experienced from your great fortune. If your answer is no, it is never too late to start. So many of my coaching clients tell me they don’t reach their goals because they want everything perfect before they move forward.
They are striving for perfection and it is killing them. They want a perfectly clean house, to say the perfect words and to do perfect work at all times. What is the point of “perfect” anyway? Pressure filled expectations are a sure way to turn any goal into a ball and chain. Many people resist attempting new challenges or setting new goals because they are afraid they will not perform to their ridiculous level of expectation.
As a result, they give up before they ever begin. Then the feelings of disappointment and failure set in. I started taking modern dance in my 30s. The room was full of young women and men that had been dancing since childhood. My mind was aghast as the dance instructor got in front of the class and proceeded to dance several eloquent steps that we were supposed to immediately mirror. I knew I was in trouble as the class was spinning one way and I was tripping the other way (Picture I Love Lucy and the Rockettes).
Through this experience, I learned to laugh at myself and let go of the notion of doing it perfectly. It was not possible for me to keep up with these experts; and attempting to do so was way too much pressure. Once the light bulb came on that I could do something for the fun of it, I relaxed about the outcome. And wouldn’t you know it, I was able to perform in several dance presentations and I had a blast.
If you are not putting yourself out there, reaching toward what you really want because you are afraid of not being perfect, you are missing out on the juiciness of your life. It is the non-perfect part that will be most memorable and uniquely you.
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Allison Maslan, HHP, CCH is a homeopathic physician and the author of Blast Off! The Surefire Success Plan To Launch Your Dreams Into Reality. As a life and business coach, she helps people create a new business and the best chapter of their lives.
The exciting launch of her book, Blast Off! The Surefire Success Plan To Launch Your Dreams Into Reality is coming Tuesday, January 19. To find out how you can buy the book and receive more than 20 beautiful mind-body-spirit gifts during the launch, go to My Blast Off.
by Katherine on November 12, 2009
The Alchemical Process ~ An Allegory Part 2 (Part 1 here.)
What was the plate meant to hold? All day she thought about it. That night she dreamed again. In the morning, not remembering the story of the dream but remembering the meaning, she knew what she had to do.
She took grain and with her own hands ground it into flour. She took yeast and fresh milk and butter and with those ingredients she made dough.
She worked the dough over and over, kneading it with her hands until it was smooth and elastic. When she was satisfied with the texture of the dough, she formed it into a oval and placed it in a clean bowl.
Covering the bowl with a clean cloth, she left the dough to rise in a warm place. She knew that the dough wouldn’t rise if the temperature wasn’t just right so she chose the place very carefully.
Patiently she checked the dough several times before she decided that it had increased in size just the right amount. With her fist she punched the dough in the middle, turned it over and then left it to rise again.
When it was ready to form into loaves, she kneaded it with her hands working it until it was smooth and elastic, and then formed it into smaller sections. When she had shaped it into loaves she placed them into pans, covered them and again left them to rise.
When they were almost ready she turned the oven on. She knew that the loaves had to be left in the oven for the right amount of time and at the right temperature. She didn’t want to burn them. She didn’t want them to be underdone. Finally when the loaves were ready and the oven was hot, she put the loaves into the oven.
When the bread was ready she took the loaves out of the oven. While one of the loaves had fallen while it was baking and was lopsided and smaller than the others, two of the loaves were round and golden and beautiful.
When the loaves were cooled she took a knife and cut a slice of the lop sided loaf and ate it. Even though it looked funny it tasted delicious.
She looked at the three loaves and wondered. What made the difference in the loaf that was lopsided? She didn’t know. She thought about how some of the things she’d made from clay hadn’t worked well either. She realized that even when things didn’t work out the way she wanted them to she could appreciate something about them.
She placed another of the loaves on the beautiful plate and admired it. She invited some of her friends to come and break bread with her.
Watch for A Creativity Story Part 3 Final
by Katherine on November 10, 2009
The Alchemical Process ~ An Allegory
One night she dreamed. In the morning, not remembering the story of the dream, but remembering the meaning, she knew what she had to do.
She found clay, rich from the earth. In her hands the clay became many things. She ’saw’ into the clay and knew the form within each piece. It seemed to her that the clay breathed as a living thing.
Some of the things she made she crushed back down into clay to use again. Some things she made did not survive the firing. But she kept working with the clay.
One day she began to make a plate. It was a large plate and when she had finished, she realized she was very tired. She knew her work was very good but it was just beginning. She set the plate aside to dry and rested.
A few days later, she returned to the plate and found that it was ready for the firing. Carefully she tuned the oven to the right temperature and placed the hardened clay inside. Knowing she had done all she could, she closed the door and left the plate to be tempered by the fire of the kiln.
When the oven had cooled she found that the plate had survived the heat of the oven. She took it out and ran her hands over it. The clay had hardened to bisque and was dry and rough to the touch.
She began to experiment with her glazes. She wanted this plate to have the colours of the living earth, colours of the elements, deep and rich. Finally she was ready to glaze the plate.
She used her tools to smooth the raw bisque as well as she could and then she began to pour the glazes over the plate. The colours of the glaze appeared chalky and dull but she knew that would change when the plate went through its second alchemical process.
Once more she tuned the oven, placed the plate inside and closed the door. While she waited she imagined what the plate might look like but she knew there was no knowing until the firing was done.
When the oven had cooled and she opened the door, she found to her delight that the plate was exquisitely beautiful even beyond her imagining. She set it out where she could admire it.
But something was wrong. She looked at it again and again to try to figure out what was missing. I know what it is, she thought finally. I am not finished yet. This plate was not meant to be empty. But what is it meant to hold?
Watch for Part 2 in an upcoming post.
by Katherine on June 22, 2009
My recent exposure to the science of memes has intrigued me, and also somewhat troubled me. The word slipped into my consciousness a couple of years ago after reading a book on marketing. I can’t even remember the title or the author but I do remember that the author’s take on memes was positive. And since it was a book on marketing, I thought that made sense. After all, one job of a great marketer is to brand a product with a logo and tagline.
But more recently I watched a video on TED by Susan Blackmore. She likens memes to a virus that spreads itself from brain to brain. She goes further and says that a meme’s only purpose is to replicate itself through human consciousness.
Prior to the Star War’s trilogy, no one would have known what you meant if you said, “May the force be with you.” Now we all know the meaning. The phrase is a meme that’s now part of our culture. “Live long and prosper,” is another. (Yes, I’m a sci-fi fan.)
It’s the theory of unknowing replication that intrigues and troubles me. If it’s true, we humans are mostly unconscious dupes serving memes mission to replicate.
What is the effect of memes on the expression of individual creativity and the birth of new ideas?
Is it okay to birth new ideas as long as they don’t become memes?
What if one writes a book that becomes so popular that the title is a meme? For example, Tim Ferriss’s Four Hour Work Week. It’s both a title and an idea.
Are their good memes and bad memes? If so, who decides?
Is individual creativity lost once an idea becomes a meme?
I don’t have the answers to any of those questions. I can only resolve to continue expressing myself creatively and if I’m participating in the replication process of a meme, I want to be doing it consciously.
by Katherine on January 5, 2009
Happy New Year!
I mean that as a greeting but also as an invitation to really think about the word new. NEW. It’s a fresh start, an exciting beginning as we leave behind all the events of the previous year.
I’ve always like the term New Year’s Evolutions instead of New Year’s Resolutions. Evolution means change, expansion, growth, progression, transformation. So let’s look at our new year from the perspective of beginnings, endings and the in-between.
The Beginning
Beginnings are wonderful events. Remember the new notebooks we got each Sept with fresh clean pages. The beginning of a new year is a like a blank book. We’re internally motivated and inspired and a charge of electricity literally buzzes in our veins. What are we going to write in the book of 2009?
Whatever the goal – losing weight, getting a new job, finding a soulmate – our enthusiasm carries us through the first few days or weeks. But then the energy wanes and the excitement dies. Why does this happen?
We may find the answer in the conflict between our conscious wishes, dreams and goals and our subconscious fears and beliefs. To understand the true meaning of willpower, we have to understand that on occasion the motivations of our other-than-conscious mind will overrule the motivations of the conscious mind. Rather than accept that we are quitters, we must ask ourselves a tough question. What is the deeper motivation for not achieving the goal? It may lie in the fact that it will lead us into an uncomfortable stage of not knowing. In other words, the in-between which is the greatest source of creative energy.
Understanding the In Between
In 1999 I saw the movie Wheel of Time, a film about the sacred Buddhist ceremony of Kalachakra. Some of the pilgrims travel to the ceremony by advancing only one step at a time and then prostrating themselves full length. They stand up; take one more step and fall full length again. They travel the entire distance to their destination in this manner.
To achieve our intentions, it may be necessary for us as individuals to have a slow , mindful and sometimes uncomfortable time. What we gain depends on how deeply we trust the experience.
We’ve all had sudden insights into our own actions or behaviour. At that “aha” moment we cross the bridge into understanding. We achieve this by first accepting the experience, by becoming conscious of the feelings of the experience and allowing inspiration to guide our steps. That is the real power of our will.
Understanding Endings
Many people are talking these days about being in a new paradigm. What does it really mean? Could it be the process of each unique individual bringing to the surface the hidden creative forces that inspire actions? Mainstream culture has not yet accepted that it is okay to just BE. But what if the in-between is exactly the state we must be in to live a purposeful, creative and joyful life?
Some endings happen. 2008 ended and so will 2009. But what may not end is the way we use the experiences of the past to continually propel us forward into something more. Perhaps if we reflect on our experiences, we will discover the achievement of the goal was never the real goal. It was the act of creation. And if indeed there is an ending, we will find self knowledge and the seed of an incredibly exciting new beginning.
“And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive at where we started and know the place for the first time.” – T.S. Eliot
