“Ships are safe in the harbor but that’s not what ships are for.”
It’s not what a life is for either. A safe and precisely ordered life may seem like the ideal life: I used to think so when things went wrong. In the middle of chaos I longed for stability. I longed for the storm to be over so things could return to ‘normal’….whatever that was.
We may dislike chaos but it can lead to some important, necessary and vital change. Chaos may arrive in any form and the catalyst doesn’t really matter. What matters is our response. Is it good? Is it bad? Are we stuck in wanting to know why, why, WHY?
I’m oversimplifying, but I perceive my life as two periods; one in which I was in a trance, sleepwalking through life, and one in which I am awake and aware. While in my trance state, it was easy to point to others as the source of an upheaval, or even deny there was a problem. After the wake up call, I could see that even though things were challenging and painful, there was an underlying sense of rightness, and I felt faith that I was moving in the right direction.
Yes, there are many times when I’m confused and I want answers. I want someone to tell me what to do. I want someone to say, “There, there, it’s all going to be better soon.” So does that work for me? Not really.
With the knowledge that there’s something powerful about being in the midst of chaos, no one can shake my conviction when they offer a conflicting opinion about how to handle things. I can rely on my inner guidance. I no longer have to be responsible for anyone other than myself. What a relief!
As I learn to ride the waves of order and chaos, things that were emotional storms for me in the past are now just light breezes. I’m much more willing to risk storms that before would have annihilated me. What has shifted is the consciousness that all high winds are the ‘storm before the calm’.
What has shifted is the belief that no matter how severe the storm, my ship is guided safely home.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hard to imagine you ever being in a trance, Katherine. (Well, maybe a musical trance!). You are one of the most awake and aware people I know. You’re plugged in to life, and it shows!
Well you see, that’s because I’m now in the AT state… AT = After Trance. LOL